


as long as it's just you and i (it feels like i'm going home)

by bellawritess



Series: malum prompts [17]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Band Fic, Fluff, Friendship/Love, M/M, Rating for Language, Romance, Sleepy Boys, Sleepy fluff, but not in a bad way or anything, i can only hear it in jack's voice, slight miscommunication, that tag is so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess
Summary: Michael’s on the verge of falling asleep when he murmurs, “It’s nice to be home.”
Relationships: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood
Series: malum prompts [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026381
Kudos: 4





	as long as it's just you and i (it feels like i'm going home)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [expectopatronuz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/expectopatronuz/gifts).



> **prompt:** "you've always felt like home."
> 
> [tumblr link!](https://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/post/633198339632119808/oh-i-have-a-malum-prompt-for-you-youve-always)
> 
> title from going home by the aces

Michael’s on the verge of falling asleep when he murmurs, “It’s nice to be home.”

It gives Calum pause, because they’re not at home. This is just a hotel, their first since returning from the brief break away from tour. They’d actually _been_ home, hugged their mums and in certain cases siblings, slept in their own beds; this isn’t it. This hotel room is too cold, and so Calum and Michael are cuddled together for warmth, Michael’s left arm draped over Calum’s stomach and his head resting against Calum’s chest. He can probably hear Calum’s heartbeat, probably feel it. Calum hopes that’s not stressing him out too much. There’s not much he can do to regulate it, unfortunately, and it tends to go crazy around Michael.

“What?” he says softly, careful in case Michael’s fully dropped off in the moments following his statement. Sometimes Michael will just say things with the intention of never explaining them, and Calum’s learned to let them go; but sometimes he says things because he wants to be asked, _what do you mean?_ , and Calum always asks just in case.

Though he’d been moments away from dreaming, Michael hums, and Calum knows this is a case of the latter. “It’s nice to be home,” he repeats with eyes closed. Calum tucks his chin onto the top of Michael’s head and smiles a bit to himself. 

“We’re not at home,” he says bemusedly. “We’re in a hotel, Mikey. We just _left_ home.”

But Michael doesn’t seem to find anything strange in this contradiction. “You’ve always felt like home,” he mumbles, and then sighs heavily, like those words had been blocking some airway for him. “I missed you. Sleeping with you. ‘S all I meant.”

Michael’s going to have a hard time falling asleep now, if he can feel even half of what Calum can, heart beat-beat-beating without any respect for his dignity or well-being. “Oh,” he whispers.

Michael just snuggles closer. “I’m trying to be romantic,” he huffs. “You don’t have to say it back or anything, God.”

“Romantic?”

Michael finally opens his eyes and looks up at Calum. “Can you be quiet?” he says crossly. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“You’re such a shit,” Calum says, wondering if maybe they’ve already fallen asleep and this is some strange lucid dream. “What do you mean, romantic?” Maybe that had been one of the Michael-isms meant to be left untouched, but Calum can’t bring himself to leave it.

Michael frowns. “Do you not know what romantic means?”

“I know what it means. I’m wondering why you’re being it with me.”

The frown deepens. Michael finally sits up, drawing his knees to his chest and giving Calum a critical glance. “Um, because I love you?”

That’s nothing new. That’s old news, actually, dating almost as far back as Calum and Michael themselves. Calum and Michael have loved each other since they learned how to say it — how to _really_ say it, not just echoing their parents but making a meaning out of four letters and one syllable, trading an unfamiliar word between them until it felt like something that only made sense in the context of Michael-and-Calum. Love is written in their scripture, and Calum’s heard it enough times that when he thinks _I love you_ he doesn’t think it in his own voice, but Michael’s; _I love you_ , a soft place to land, a safety net when Calum is balancing himself on the tightrope of meeting new people and keeping old friends. If there’s no one else, there’s always Michael; if nothing else, he can always fall back on Michael’s love.

It’s just that Calum had never really thought to look deeper. He loves Michael, and Michael loves him, and the world spins on its axis and the sky is blue; some facts don’t need to be examined any further.

“I didn’t, uh,” Calum says, aware that he’s floundering, and that Michael’s expression looks more and more confused every second Calum grasps at nothing, “I — you’re gonna have to explain that one to me.”

“Tell me where you’re confused and I’ll explain it to you,” Michael says.

“The romance thing. That’s not — that’s — I love you, I mean, and I know you love me, I just didn’t think…I didn’t…” Calum tugs a hand through his hair. It’s not that he can’t figure out what he’s trying to say; he’s just afraid that he’ll say it and give Michael the wrong idea. He doesn’t want _I didn’t think you meant it that way_ to sound like _I don’t want you to mean it that way_.

“Okay,” Michael says. “I get it.” Calum shoots him a look, sure he’s being put on, but Michael is nodding slowly, and giving Calum a sheepish look. “Sorry, Cal. I take it back.”

“No!” Calum groans. “Don’t take it _back_ , just _explain_. You’re actually being romantic, or you’re just — just fucking around?”

“I actually am,” Michael says, hesitantly. “But — Calum, I always am. I mean…yeah, this is the first time I’ve actually said so. But, like…this is romantic. To me. Or at least, I am with you. I don’t know if you…picked up on that, but you never had a problem with it before.”

Calum only allows himself a second to reflect on that, because he doesn’t want to give Michael the impression that he’s hesitating, but it really only takes him a second to reflect anyway. It’s almost like tectonic plates have been shifting in Calum’s mind for so long that he’d stopped noticing, but now, with finality, they lock into place side-by-side. _Oh_ doesn’t cover it; Calum feels relief like a shot of something strong in his bloodstream. He thinks about Michael, thinks about every time he’s ever spoken to Michael, been around Michael, touched or smiled at or hugged or talked about Michael. Neither of them has been in a relationship in the entire time they’ve known each other; why hasn’t he ever stopped to wonder about that? 

When Calum thinks about home, all of his memories are tinged with Michael, from Sydney to London to Los Angeles to airplanes and tour buses ferrying them across the globe. He’s missed Sydney, missed his family, but he’s never been _homesick_ — never wanted for a home.

And no wonder.

“I don’t have a problem with it now,” he says quietly. Michael looks skeptical — justifiably so — so Calum continues, “I’m sorry, Mike, I just didn’t realize, that’s all. I wasn’t thinking that this was…but it should be. It is. We are. I mean, fuck.” He laughs. “I love you. I actually do, like — I don’t think I could ever feel about anyone else how I feel about you. I thought that was just, I don’t know. Friendship. But — shit.”

“Oh,” Michael says, exhaling. “Yeah. That’s what I meant. I, uh,” he chuckles a bit, “I didn’t realize we weren’t on the same page.”

“Well, we are now,” Calum says firmly. He wavers. “What, uh…what are we now?”

“Come on,” Michael says. “Don’t do that now. We’re just us. We’re exactly the same as always. Just Michael and Calum.”

Calum turns the words over in his mind, then tries them out on his tongue. “Just Michael and Calum,” he repeats. “Okay. That works for me.” 

Michael gives him a tired smile. “Are we all figured out? Can I go to sleep now?”

Calum holds out his arm invitingly, and Michael immediately curls up into his side, hugging him the same way he’d done earlier, a koala on Calum’s right side with legs tangled together. “Love you,” Calum says quietly.

Michael giggles. “Yeah, love you,” he answers in a hum, breathing out another deep, cleansing sigh. “Goodnight.”

Calum tests a lot of words in the minutes between Michael falling asleep and Calum doing the same — _boyfriend_ slips between his teeth, _lover_ tickles the roof of his mouth, _best friend_ dances over his tongue. Ultimately, though, he drifts off with one word clinging to his consciousness. _Home_.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3 i'm on tumblr [@clumsyclifford](http://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/) so come say hey!


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